Have you ever been to a pottery class or, have you ever witnessed a potter in action? If you have, you might easily be able to empathize with what I am about to write. If not, I hope my words fill in those details and make the picture vivid enough for you to get the feeling of experiencing it in person.
So, the potter. It is really fascinating to see how he/she works. I think he/she is a magical being, possessing life-giving powers. When I look at the magical lab, I think it is divided into two fractions: chaos and orderly. One half of his room is occupied by clay, this lifeless matter, lying around waiting to be picked up — chaos. Another half of the room is occupied by aesthetically beautiful pots, cups, vases and everything you can imagine — orderly.
When he picked up the lump of clay and threw it on the wheel, I was almost certain that shaping this raw material and morphing into a cup will never turn out to be the same as I saw the other one lying on the orderly side of the world. I always thought he had some hidden machine which would wither into perfection, this epitome of exact measurement. But as soon as he started moving his wheel, his hands dancing around the wheel, joyfully playing with the clay, performing an art, the one that takes you into a trance. He so delicately starts giving it some form, he was very conscious about the pressure he would put on it, the rhythm of the wheel had to be in sync.
It is a very exhilarating experience to see something come to life from nothing. The idea of something or someone being born, something or someone ceasing to exist might seem like very general and obvious ideas. One might mistake them for ordinary. Unless you have seen them in action, you can’t gauge the power of such processes. Babies being born are a miracle, but it is extremely beautiful to see an idea being born as well, turning into something powerful, with deep impact. The idea of death scares us all, but watching your favorite mug turn to pieces or experiencing the pain of departing from your loved one; it changes you, from the core. They are small but powerful changes. You start appreciating the little things that you would have once failed to even notice, you might be more alert about the things you say, the places you go, the decision you make. And I mean it in a good way, you try to be more respectful towards your life.
A lot of this might seem gibberish, here and there, but do not you think that is our state of being. We are crowded with dreams, wishes, ambitions, fear and inhibitions, biases, longing, self-awareness and the list might never end. It is a big set to choose from, differs for everybody, but the list will remain, multiple threads being processed. We are always trying to make sense of this world around us, constantly monitoring ourselves to be the better version then you were a minute ago (might seem exaggerating), but in the hindsight you know that is what you are doing.
We are constantly evolving, changing minute by minute.
Our potter is the life, the experiences, the choices that we are making and I am yet to find out when the potter of my life is gonna stop and I can look at myself and feel the same calmness that I experience when I look at that cup from the other side of the world — orderly side. But I have never seen anyone so refined, so furnished ever — everyone is constantly changing, taking new shapes, coming to life in various forms and that made me question — will I never reach the orderly side of the world? Will I ever be at that stage where my brain would just take a breath and just learn to relax like me with a martini and book on a beach.
And if I do reach that point, will I still be living? I wonder what it would be like on that side of the world. Will things be calmer, quieter and soothing? Sometimes I wonder if the potter shapes the clay as he goes or does he already know what he is going to make?
Do you wonder that as well? Do you ever question: when will you stop being in an Amorphous state of existence?
Will one always be in an amorphous state of existence?